


The Old/New Me

by Desparado



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23395615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desparado/pseuds/Desparado
Summary: New to the group, Loki learns why everyone loves you as much as they do, and why he will also come to do the same.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Kudos: 72





	The Old/New Me

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Avengers Assemble but before Age of Ultron. Loki is staying with the Avengers as form of ‘probation’ agreed between Thor and Odin; You are an avenger with healing powers (self and others).  
> Warnings: None

All was calm in Stark Tower as the sun lifted its head above the New York skyline. Some of the avengers had congregated in one of the many communal spaces- Steve and Nat were sitting at the dining table going over world history; Tony and Bruce had been bickering in the kitchen about whether to put cream or milk in coffee; and Loki- having entered the room first- occupied the small armchair in the corner by the window and was reading a book on human empathy. Although he argued with his father and brother with regards to his ‘probation’, he did often find himself enjoying time on earth, even taking up reading about humanity and how they lived. He was learning a lot about community and teamwork, how humans band together in time of need- he had witnessed that first-hand and it made him feel… alone. So he read his books in the hopes of educating himself enough to be able to find a place on this planet.  
Just as the discussion between Bruce and Tony was getting heated, a loud, hearty laugh was heard from the corridor- causing all but Loki to stop. After a minute went by, Tony cheered as Thor and you strolled in- boxes of donuts in hand. The team had eagerly awaited your arrival after you had gone on a humanitarian mission with Thor to help islanders affected by a huge earthquake. He helped with knocking down unsteady buildings and clearing rubble as you helped with healing those who were injured. A few aftershocks later, you had both done all you could and were sent back.  
Placing the boxes of donuts on the table, you turned and were greeted by Tony first with a squeezing hug, “Hey short-stuff, they smell good!” He leaned passed you to inhale the fresh donut smell, “What’s the occasion?”  
“They’re just a ‘well done for not killing each other whilst I was away’ present.” You joked as you smiled and were given a big hug by Nat and then Steve. “I bought everyone’s favourite flavours and there’s two each so no stealing or fighting!” You shouted as they all began to dig in, Thor getting in there first to grab a jam one. As they all sat at the dining table to enjoy their treats, you checked which ones were left. Bruce has wrapped his up for later, Tony had taken both of his, and there were two different flavours left: your chocolate ones and the vanilla ones you picked up for Loki. ‘Oh Loki’ you thought as you looked around for him, finding him in his corner. Smiling, you grabbed a paper towel, picked up one of the vanilla donuts and headed over to him.  
As soon as Loki heard your voice on entry, he wouldn’t read any more, enamoured only by your voice. He didn’t know why but he felt his heart beating quicker. Flicking his eyes up, he watched Tony hug you and the big smile you gave him in return. A sensation dragged its way into his stomach as he saw you laughing with them all. He would argue that the sensation was annoyance- that your distinctive cackle was irritating to hear, your large smile unbalanced your face and you looked ridiculous… he would keep telling himself until it was true. Then he noticed you looking around and he flicked his gaze back down to his book in panic. Panic? Why was he panicking about looking at you? Questions and thoughts raced through his mind and he didn’t notice you walk over to him.  
You stood a little distance away- he looked very focused on his book- and announced yourself by coughing, “Hi Loki!” He looked up, meeting his gaze caused a flush of heat to rise in your chest. “I didn’t know what your favourite flavour was, and neither did Thor, so I chose vanilla instead.” You held out the donut to him, he gaze switching between the donut and you. “It’s quite a plain flavour I guess, but I thought it would be a good introduction to earth fo-”  
“And why do you think I would want that?” His question surprised you. It surprised both of you, he wasn’t sure what to say to such a gift and because his brain was riddled with thoughts, he couldn’t process the moment clearly enough. Was this a trap? Was it a trick? Was it a ‘community thing’ or something more? Could she hear his thoughts? He began to feel sick and stood up; you stepped backwards and remained silent, unsure what to say- had you done something wrong? “I… er… I just got donuts and didn’t want to miss anyone out.”  
“Well unlike your pitiful teammates- I cannot be bought!” With that he hit your hand out of the way- knocking the donut to the floor- and marched passed you and out of the room.  
The event shocked you all into silence, you turned and looked at your friends, holding your arms up and mouthing ‘what the heck?’ to Nat. Thor got up from his seat and went to go after him but you intercepted him. “Y/n let me just-”  
“Don’t worry Thor it’s fine. I’ll find him later.” You grabbed your donut from the box and sat down at the table as Thor joined you. Tony distracted you all by stating that coffee with cream was a disaster move, prompting a hearty debate amongst you all, although your mind was definitely elsewhere.

After finishing your donut, you wrapped up the second chocolate and vanilla ones, placed them in your bag and headed to your room. There you unpacked your mission clothes and readied yourself to go down to the theatre room in search of Loki. This was the most likely place you’d find him- the others only came here on movie night, otherwise it was dark, quiet, and away from the outside world. Peaking through the little window in the door, you spotted him at the front, slumped in the chair with his hands covering his face and his feet up. You almost assumed that he may be asleep, but his foot twitching and hands changing position proved he wasn’t. Taking a deep breath, you slowly opened the door and walked inside. He didn’t stir until the door ‘clicked’ closed. He quickly turned his head and spotted you with your back to the door, then turned away. “Hey.” You called, no answer. You didn’t want to do it yet, but now seemed the time for your little project. Getting your phone from your bag, you accessed the theatre projector and uploaded a series of clips and played them in a slideshow. The screen lit up and then images of a broken New York appeared. News and civilian footage showed Loki flying around New York as thousands of Chitauri soldiers attacked innocents and blew up cars and buildings. As you crept forward, you noticed Loki’s eyes were fixed to the screen, and you sat one seat away from him. Memories flooded back as you watched, you had been in New York that day, barely a SHIELD operative, and was desperately trying to heal as many civilians as you could. You sighed shakily and Loki noticed, turning his head to the side, “Why are you showing me this?” He asked accusingly. You didn’t look at him.  
“I was right there, you know. My first mission. I saved about 30 people and watched 5 die because my powers weren’t strong enough.” You didn’t see it, but Loki swallowed hard and looked at the floor, ashamed. “I wanted to hate you. I wanted you to be punished for what you had done, but then I realised…” You left the sentence there and got your phone out as you finally looked over at Loki, his brows knitted and head tilted. Scrolling through your phone, you found what you were looking for and clicked play. The screen changed as the clips now focused on Loki - security footage of when he first came to earth through the portal, the havoc he wreaked on the helicarrier and then in the very tower they were in now. Loki scanned the images, looking for whatever you had ‘realised’. You stopped the clip on a close up of Loki’s face- the unnatural glint in his eyes, the dark circles underneath. “It wasn’t you. Not really. You had been blinded by rage and seduced by a supernatural power.” You turned to look at him, “This is the old you.” Then you looked at your phone again and clicked another video. This time it was security footage from a few weeks ago, you were decorating the ‘party room’ for Tony’s birthday and had climbed a huge ladder to hang balloons when the ladder slipped and you fell. But instead of hitting the ground you landed in Loki’s arms- who had been a few meters away initially. You smiled as you saw how Loki had been watching you decorate and propelled himself forward when he noticed the ladder begin to slip. “You saved me.” You whispered, glancing over at him, you thought you saw a blush in his cheeks but couldn’t tell from the lighting. Loki felt your gaze on him and shuffled in his seat, “Hardly, it wouldn’t have caused major damage.” He dismissed.  
“It doesn’t matter,” You began, pausing the video and turning to face Loki fully. “You saw I was in trouble and helped me. When I couldn’t reach that book in the library, you stopped reading to come and get it for me- you helped me. This-” You pointed to the screen. “- is the new you. The real you. I know you’ve been struggling between the two and I understand the difficulty, which is why I had been collecting these clips ready to show you one day. But it’s time to let go of the past you and focus on you now- you’re ready.” He carefully watched your facial expressions as you spoke, the fluidity of movement in your features confirmed to him you were being genuine. He sighed very deeply and looked at the ground, “Wow, past me was awful.” A smile stretched across your face.  
“I hate to break it to you but present you can be pretty terrible too.” Loki looked up and felt his heart falter when he saw your smile. Then he remembered what he did earlier and looked back down. “I’m sorry about… before.” He murmured.  
“Already forgiven. I know it’s been hard relearning how to socialise with people. Especially ones you previously tried to kill! And I can only imagine it’s harder when you have such a mischievous side to you.” He smiled at your last sentence, the devilish charm of it making your heart soar. Mother always said you were a sucker for bad boys. As you reached into your bag again, Loki had suddenly moved to the seat next to you, watching you take out a small paper parcel. “I do mean it, y/n. I am sorry for what I said and did. You were being kind and I… ruined it.” The sweetness in his expression was heart wrenching and you couldn’t help but giggle. “Don’t worry about it Loki. Besides,” You unravelled the parcel and showed the two donuts, “I always buy two in case accidents happen.” You smiled generously with your eyes as Loki chuckled and took the vanilla donut. You watched him take the first bite and cheered when he seemed to really enjoy it, allowing you to enjoy yours. 

You both ate in silence, which was pleasing to Loki as it allowed him to process your conversation. All of the thoughts he had now were of your kindness and belief in him. He couldn’t help but gaze at you as he wondered what you were thinking. Why did he feel so… cleansed around you? He’d heard Thor say before how you healed their minds as well as their bodies, but he didn’t believe it until now. Now he understood why the avengers cared for you so much. Why his heart skipped when you looked at him. Why he scrambled to help you reach the book in the library- he was smitten. And now he vowed silently to himself that he would focus his energy on becoming the best version of himself so that he may one day be worthy of you.


End file.
